A (more) Modern Prometheus

The Monster 

In ancient Greek mythology, there is the story of Prometheus. A Titan who was credited with the creation of man from clay and enabling him with the gift of fire stolen from the gods thus promoting his advancement through time. These acts, apparently pissing off Zeus, got him sentenced to an eternal damnation of being chained to a rock only to have his liver eaten each day by an eagle (a symbol of Zeus) only to have it grow back for another helping of liver the next day by the eagle. Legend holds this went on for some time until Heracles, took pity on Prometheus and freed him. Prometheus is interestingly, linked to Athena and Hephaestus which are other Greek deities associated with creative skills and technology.  

See where I am going with this?  Keep reading.

In 1818, Mary Shelley wrote Frankenstein and subtitled it The Modern Prometheus in relation to man's struggle for advanced knowledge and the risk of unintended circumstances.

Heavy shit, I know. But here of late, I can certainly relate. Allow me to elaborate in my own fashion.

There are those within my inner circle who have made reference to me as Dr. Victor Frankenstein.  Although, at times I have felt to be more of the Gene Wilder rather than the Colin Clive portrayal. In reality, my role in the creation of Radio Memphis was as more of Prometheus himself. My immediate history shows that I too have been chained to a rock and my liver devoured on a daily basis. Okay, not literally... well, partly. Living with the reality of the monster has chained me to a rock, metaphorically speaking. I live with this monster and see what it does on a daily basis. I am often trapped by it and rarely see around the thing.   As for my liver? Well, draw your own conclusions. The monster was created after a pitcher of margaritas, for God's sake. So, some traditions still carry on.

In other mythology, Prometheus is credited with a form of animal sacrifice once practiced by ancient Greeks.  I can also relate to this.

Although no animals were sacrificed in the creation of the monster, sacrifices have certainly been made.  Believe me when I tell you this. Entering this type of endeavor comes with large sacrifices. Some you expect to make, others you never see coming. The sacrifice of any peace of mind is the first that is made. Your fear of failure or success weighs heavy. The fact this monster has an appetite and the material sacrifices that are made to satisfy said appetite become apparent and large. Then there are those personal sacrifices. Those you never think about except in hindsight. Things like time. Things outside of the monster's existence like personal relationships, birthdays, health, holidays, family and sanity. You lose a sense of what it is all about at times. You can in fact lose yourself.

There are times you explore the depths of your own depravity. "Just how far will you take this thing?", you are asked by others. Those words will echo in your head for all eternity. So, you take weird steps of including the monster in your everyday life. Trying to compensate. Giving a pass to the thing like it was some sort of child throwing a temper tantrum. In reality, when you get to the level I am now, your conscience will resemble the aftermath of a room where a failed experiment involving whiskey and gorillas took place.  (Thanks, HST)

In the great score card, I think I have done an okay job of juggling these things so far. But, there have been times of great worry and fear. There have been a few times I fell to my knees and wept at the damage I have allowed this thing to inflict on those immediately around me. But there have also been times I have stood aside and watched the monster do what it was designed to do with a sense of pride as it has taken on a life of its own with little intervention.

The consumption of time has been the biggest thing with the monster. Tick fucking tock. I hear it in my sleep. "Just a bit more time is all it needs..." I repeatedly say to myself and others who have grown weary of this hackneyed line. Those who have stood with me and watched the monster do what it does and helped it further its own cause have been remarkable. But, not without a heavy cost.  

I am not alone in the sacrifices I have made. There are those here at Radio Memphis who share in such things, some more than others. Fear of the unknown is strong in these parts. Lack of sleep over worry. Lack of certain things most take for granted. There are those who made sacrifices the same as I. Loss of some personal relationships. Loss of creature comforts (pardon the pun). The knowledge that we are working with something that has become so large that even we can barely steer it's course.

People have come and gone through here who were afraid. Maybe they didn't have the stomach for this sort of thing. I can't say that I blame them, at times. Perhaps the risks were too high. Or, it looked to be too daunting and the patience and time it requires was too costly. Perhaps they lacked the physical or mental durability to continue. Nevertheless, the monster persevered. It always does.

Then there are those who stand in the presence of the monster. Some stand there in awe of the thing. Not quite sure just how to embrace it or if they should at all. And some of those who look upon it as something they should copy not knowing the exactness it requires. Ripping chunks here and there from it and patching something together like some sort of abomination. Only to watch as it stumbles and fails in it's own weaknesses as their creators are unable to match the raw needs it requires to live on its own. The power the monster possesses at times is enviable even by my own standards. It is that power some wish to see destroyed. Not able to destroy it, the monster turns on you. That's when it will get you. When you turn your back.  

Like Victor Frankenstein, I wanted to create something that would outlive me. I feel I am pretty close to that lofty goal. Something that has some intrinsic value to society. Something that fills the void others have created through greed and consumption. Something those of us here feel is necessary. And like Victor Frankenstein, it might be the death of me.

Like Prometheus, I wanted to create something of value from nothing. Using things not designed to do what they are doing now. Giving it something to further it's own life by giving it a fire stolen from those who misused their technology. This has happened. Tick fucking tock... it's only a matter of time, sooner than later. And like Prometheus, I will wait until some Heracles comes to break the chains that binds me to this rock and truly sets us both free. As for my liver... well, it keeps growing back so there is hope for us all yet.

Stay tuned...